I’m not a regular mom, I’m a sweaty mom.

I’m gonna be really honest to kick off this post.  I spend a lot of my days more sweaty than not.  You might be wondering…”Ok, and why exactly is this relevant to me…. at all?” It all boils down to one thing: CHILDREN.  So, maybe it is relevant or maybe it isn’t, maybe you wish it wasn’t.  Ever heard the phrase “A new mom is a sweaty mom”?  Now you have.  Since becoming a mom it’s been a sweat fest for me.  A non-stop sweat fest.  Anyways, my main point in this post is not to share with you my rockstars sweating abilities, its not, I promise.  It’s the fact that so many of the things my kids have me doing on a day to day basis makes me sweat, physically and mentally.  So, maybe it is about sweating??? I’m not sure now.  It wasn’t how I actually pictured this post playing out but here we are anyways…

Don’t sweat the small stuff, right?  Sure, I can do that. Like, I can do it.  I will sweat the small stuff all day long.  For so many shopping trips now I have tried to have an I just don’t give a damn attitude when it comes to what my kids are or aren’t doing.  Judge and stare me down if you must because you probably are going to either way.  But I do care.  Because when my child is throwing a epic tantrum in Aisle 3 because we aren’t in Aisle 15 {I have zero idea what any of these aisles actually contain in any particular store} I might look cool as a cucumber but you can bet I have a bead of sweat starting its way down my back.  Just the other day I took the kids to Old Navy.  I wanted to look at ONE thing.  One.Thing.  Immediately upon entering the store, I’m talking we’ve been in here for maybe 30 seconds, both of my girls are up on a display shelf.  An employee began asking if I needed any help to which I responded by yelling at my kids to get off of there.  He walked away.  Also, lets speak hypothetically for one moment that one of my kids might have ripped an arm off a pair of sunglasses while the other took her shoes off and scaled her way up a ladder.  I not so quickly found the one thing I was looking for, because you know I’m hypothetically hiding broken sunglasses and keeping another child from achieving permanent brain damage.  We finally made it to the checkout register which was a process all in itself.  WHY WHY WHY must they keep so many things by the registers???????  Naturally my kids are touching all the things on all the shelves and putting them back exactly where they do not belong.  You know how I said I sweat easily right?  So back to that….my hair immediately goes up into a pony tail {I swear a rubber band evaporated out of thin air just for me}, the very thin sweater I’m wearing can be tolerated no more and it’s quickly shoved into my purse while I wrangle my two darling daughters off of every thing imaginable in that checkout area.  I had to have looked like an agitated wild beast at this point.  With two less than pleased kids…of course.  This is seriously the scene at almost every store we walk into.  I could write an entire book about running errands with these hooligans.  “Stop touching that.”  “Get back over here.”  “If you don’t listen one more time….you know what I don’t even know what’s going to happen if you don’t listen one more time.  Lets not find out shall we?” 30-best-funny-parenting-quotes-my-quiet-spot-images-on-pinterest-funny-advice-for-new-moms

Ok, so there we have covered one recent and prime example of the way my kids physically make me sweat.  My mental sweat game is on point.  It’s amazing how two relatively small people can make you feel 100% crazy.  If you don’t have kids yet imagine this:  You just spent a good 20 minutes making breakfast, a nice not necessarily regular breakfast because you had extra time today and wanted something for yourself, more than say a bowl of cereal.  Anyways, this nice breakfast is served.  Everyone begins eating peacefully and you think “wow this is going to be an excellent day!”  WRONG.  The 2 year old immediately takes that plate and its on the floor.  Not the plate by the way, just the food. Oh, and she would like “more.”  The 4 year old is crying and has been for a minute now because you gave her the wrong color fork and even giving her the right color fork at this point can’t fix that travesty.  Thankfully the dog can eat the food off the floor but you still have to clean it.  Also, let me just throw this out there.  Crayons.  Crayons EVERYWHERE and on EVERYTHING.  For the 25th time today you have to color On.The.Paper.  Let’s all just be grateful crayons aren’t sticky or wet.

So now that you’ve read two full paragraphs of me complaining about my kids you are probably thinking….”wow, this lady needs to get a grip and love her kids a little, they are just kids after all.”  Totally.  When I’m not sweating in aisle 6 of Target or cleaning up the 88th mess of the day I’m 100% loving on my kids.  Even with the sweat and the messes I love those kids so deeply because I wouldn’t be a sweaty mess without them right?!  I’m not sure what the take away is from this.  Maybe that if you are as good at sweating as me (and, oh,  I bet you are or can be) you’ll do just fine as a parent too even when it feels like you have “The ‘not’ hot mess express” written acrosss your forehead in public.  Parenting is a lot of things, and apparently for me its sweaty and its a lot of love!

Author: Jessica Omdalen

Stay at home mom and wife with a passion for writing, loving my family, and just doing life!

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