I’ve written this one a few times in my head and keep coming back to it. The title sort of says it all but I’ll elaborate. If it isn’t already obvious to you (as I hope it is to everyone) no one is a vision of perfection. I certainly don’t fill those shoes. Guess what? That’s alright.
I have received comments from many people on what a good mom I am and how I just seem to have it together. (Insert actual laughing until I am crying response.) One person was even kind enough to send a personal message asking for advice, as she was about to become a new mom herself, and I seemed to know what I was doing. I hesitantly typed out a response I thought was uplifting but wondered if I actually lived the words I was sharing with her. While I so appreciate these messages and comments it also makes me reflect on the image I may be portraying on social media to make you think I have it all together because I don’t. I lose my patience with my children and with my husband. I clean up yet another mess someone has made and quietly resent them for it. I get stressed about things like nap time. I think to myself what it would be like to only be responsible for me and then scold myself for thinking such a thing because I wouldn’t give my children up for anything. Motherhood is one hell of an eye opener to the world but one we often keep to ourself, especially the struggles of the day in and day out.
I mentioned social media in the above paragraph which is sort of my direction with this particular post. It is such a significant part of the world we live in today which is both a blessing and a curse, a double edged sword. The last few years I have heavily relied on my social media presence to stay in contact with friends and even find social outlets online in order to find answers to my many questions about being a mom and caring for a tiny human. I have really gotten sucked into the world of it all. A few weeks ago my toddler actually asked me to put my phone away, she is 2. That stung. I deleted Facebook off my phone that day. I still have it but it is much less accessible to go sit at my computer versus my phone that I can carry with me all over the house. If you find yourself getting sucked in, my advice? Delete it off your mobile device. Easy peasy.
What about social media is so intriguing and why do we think that those around us lead stress free completely mess proof lives? While I don’t have a direct answer to that what is obvious is that no one is going to willfully air their dirty laundry. Those who do choose to share the problems that might be present in their lives may be viewed as negative and/or whiny. I really think the way we go about most things is just a flaw in human nature. We often fail to realize how we contradict ourselves. I mostly share cute pictures of my kids, wish people happy birthday, share funny (sometimes sad) articles, and I’m not gonna lie… I creep on people. I’ve probably creeped on you and your profile. Sorry!
My point in all of this is don’t let someone else’s vision of perfection fool you or make you feel guilt in your own life. My guess is 1. that is not their intention 2. they are just doing what we all do which is share the good and the happy, and 3. they likely have just as many problems as you do and who knows, maybe they even look at your posts and wonder how they can be as happy as you! The amount of likes you get on a picture you post or status you make does not define you. YOU define you, don’t let social media do it for you. Be real and be honest and if someone doesn’t like its that’s fine.
Do you need a social media time out? Take a minute and think about how many times a day you send a tweet, check your facebook, post a picture to instagram, or how often you are sending snap chats. If I added it all up I know I would cringe. Put your phone down or close the computer. I promise it will still be there in a few hours and you can catch up on it all after the kids go to bed or during nap time. What will not remain the same is your kiddos, they are only little for so long so take the time to tickle those tiny toes a little longer, soak in the giggles, and just hug them as much as possible.
(Originally posted March 30th, 2017)