Alright. I’m just gonna roll with this one. Thinking about how to start a post on marriage kind of stumped me. I don’t know what to say. I’m no expert in this uncoordinated dance of having a life partner. We have our ups and we have our downs, that I know for sure. So, I thought back to a speech I wrote for a wedding almost 2 years back. It brought me back to the roots of a marriage and the vows you make to your husband or wife that day. There was some extra fluff included in the speech I won’t share just because its personal memories from myself and the bride. So here was my very own marriage advice on this special day:
1. Don’t let the spark die. Always carry in your marriage the excitement, love, and happiness you feel today.
2. Be patient with one another. Yes, there will be days when you drive each other insane, take a step back, breathe.
3. Learn from one another. You each have a skill set as a husband and wife that can be appreciated by the other.
4. Spend time together. Never get so wrapped up in your own interests that you forget about what brought you together in the first place. A hug, a kiss, and an “I love you” can go a long way.
5. Always support one another. Remember to be there for one another during each of your successes and also your failures. You are the others rock.
Let me just add before I go on that I totally breezed through this speech with minimal tears and then the ending happened. It was like this “I wish you the best with a full and happy life together! Now lets raise our glasses and cheers the new Mr. and Mrs. Omdalen!” No problem right? WRONG! That is MY last name, not theirs…. SHIT! Everyone laughed it off and once the embarrassment disappeared (mostly) I laughed too, or maybe I cried more? I don’t remember.
So back to marriage… lets be honest, mistakes (like the one I just mentioned) happen and life is about learning from them and saying I’m sorry, much of what marriage often consists of. I think the statements I made above regarding what to remember to cherish in your marriage seem like such obvious things to do but they are so easily forgotten. If I could live daily by those 5 things, I dare to say, that my marriage would be rock solid. It isn’t though because we are human. I am human, Justin is human. We have flaws and we make mistakes. We always come back to each other and we always find a way to regroup and say “ok, how can we fix this?” I’ve personally discovered, and I think Justin may agree, is that the time we find ourselves valuing each other the most are the times when we are not together. It is then that we realize how much we do for one another and the gaps we fill for the other, especially from an emotional standpoint.
Life is messy, beautiful, but completely messy. Marriage is a part of that chaos. Add kids to the mix (I’ll get to them, don’t you worry) and it gets even crazier. I think what always grounds me with anything is that knowing one day I am going to miss this. This is it, this is life right now and remembering to embrace every moment is oh so important. Cherish it all.
Maybe those 5 statements I listed intrigue you and you think remembering them would make a positive change for you and your significant other. Do they? Write them down and keep them somewhere easy to take out and remind yourself of what you might be lacking. Possibly you need to break out your old wedding vows, pictures, or videos. I can imagine it would spark some amazing feelings of love and joy and have you wanting to do it all over again, and I don’t mean the wedding all over again, I mean falling in love all over again. Take yourself backs to the deep roots of your relationship and I promise you will find something so worth remembering.
(Originally posted February 28th , 2017)
September 14th, 2013
(Photo by Darrell Duetz Photography)